When parents separate, one of the most sensitive issues is how to manage expenses for their children. What happens when one parent makes an important decision, like enrolling a child in a course or paying for a significant activity, without first obtaining the other parent’s consent?
According to recent case law, the answer is clear: a lack of prior agreement does not automatically justify refusing payment.
A ruling by the Italian Supreme Court has reaffirmed a principle that prioritises the child’s interests over parental conflict. Even when a divorce decree requires prior agreement, this does not grant a “right of veto” to the other parent. If an expense is objectively useful for the child and financially sustainable, reimbursement becomes mandatory.
The child’s interest comes first
The Court’s reasoning starts from a simple idea: decisions concerning children cannot be paralysed by disagreements between parents.
In the case examined, a father was required to reimburse 60% of the costs for his son’s attendance at a private music school. He opposed the decision, arguing that he would have preferred a more traditional academic path.
However, the outcome told a different story.
The child completed a three-year programme, obtained a qualification as a sound technician, and even stood out in a national competition. The judges recognised that:
- the choice was consistent with the child’s aspirations
- the training had real professional value
- the results confirmed the usefulness of the investment
The Court concluded that the expense was not only reasonable, but beneficial for the child’s future. As a result, the father’s refusal to contribute was considered unjustified.
No automatic veto, only justified objections
This decision reinforces an important legal principle: a parent cannot simply refuse to pay because they were not consulted.
To legitimately oppose reimbursement, the parent must raise timely and well-founded objections, for example:
- the expense is clearly unnecessary or excessive
- it does not serve the child’s educational or personal development
- it is disproportionate to the family’s financial situation
Without such reasons, the parent who advanced the money has the right to recover the other’s share.
The role of financial sustainability
The Court does not only look at whether the expense is useful, it also evaluates whether it is economically sustainable for the parent who must contribute.
In the same case:
- the father earned approximately €2,400 per month
- his fixed expenses were around €1,300
- the course cost €236 per month
The judges found that this amount was compatible with his financial capacity. In fact, they noted that it was comparable to what he might have spent on a traditional university path.
This assessment is crucial. Even a useful expense may not be reimbursable if it places an unreasonable burden on the parent. But when the cost is proportionate, refusal becomes difficult to justify.
A long-term perspective: from expense to independence One of the most interesting aspects of the ruling is its forward-looking approach.
The Court highlighted that the training had already allowed the child to begin earning income, around €4,800 in a short period through professional activities. This opens the door to a significant consequence:
the eventual end of the maintenance obligation.
Under Italian law, parents are required to support their children until they achieve economic independence. If a course or training programme accelerates that process, it ultimately benefits the paying parent as well.
In other words, what may seem like a burden today can reduce or eliminate future financial obligations.
A principle that protects children, not conflicts
This ruling confirms a broader trend in Italian family law: the child’s well-being takes precedence over parental disagreements.
Expenses that are:
- useful for the child’s development
- consistent with their aspirations
- proportionate to the family’s means
must be shared, even in the absence of prior agreement.
For parents navigating separation, the message is clear. Cooperation remains important, but when it fails, the law steps in to ensure that the child’s opportunities are not compromised.
VGS Family Lawyers is a law firm that offers assistance to English-speaking clients with interests in Italy. In case you need assistance, please write to: info@vgslawyers.com