It’s a common belief that the spouse who leaves the marital home is automatically to blame for the breakdown of the marriage. In everyday thinking, the one who leaves is seen as responsible, while the one who stays is considered the “injured party.”
In reality, the law takes a much more nuanced approach. Judges don’t stop at the fact that someone left — they look at why it happened and how the other spouse reacted.
A key concept here is acquiescence: if the spouse who remains does not oppose the separation or shows indifference, the situation can change completely.
When Is Leaving the Home Not Considered Fault?
Spouses do have a general duty to live together. However, leaving the home does not automatically justify assigning fault in a separation.
The judge must determine whether:
- the departure caused the breakdown, or
- the relationship had already collapsed before the departure
If the crisis already existed, leaving is seen as a consequence, not the cause.
The courts (including the Italian Court of Cassation) have clarified that fault cannot be attributed if the other spouse showed no real effort to save the relationship. In short, if the person who stays does nothing to repair the relationship, their inaction may signal acceptance of the separation.
What Counts as “Acquiescence”?
Acquiescence isn’t about words — it’s about behaviour. Judges look at what the spouse actually did after the partner left.
Typical signs include:
- Not trying to contact or find the spouse who left
- Waiting a long time before reacting
- Showing only superficial concern (e.g. occasional inquiries through relatives)
These behaviours suggest that the separation was not unexpected, but rather accepted.
The Role of a Pre-Existing Crisis
Leaving the home is not considered wrongful if the marriage was already in serious trouble.
Judges look for clear signs of an irreversible crisis, such as:
- A long-lasting absence of emotional and physical intimacy
- Ongoing and serious conflicts
- Tensions involving extended family (e.g. in-laws)
If these elements are proven, the departure is simply the final step in a relationship that had already ended in substance.
Economic Consequences: It Can Backfire
Many people assume that if their spouse leaves, they won’t have to pay anything financially. That’s not always true.
If the judge finds:
- no fault in the departure, and
- evidence of acquiescence or a prior crisis
the spouse who remained may still be required to pay maintenance (alimony). In some cases, the person who tried to blame the other ends up:
- losing the claim of fault
- and being ordered to pay financial support to the other spouse
This is because the law aims to protect the economically weaker party, regardless of who physically left the home.
The Bottom Line
Leaving the marital home does not automatically mean being at fault. What really matters is:
- whether the relationship was already broken
- and whether the other spouse genuinely tried to save it
If there was indifference or an ongoing crisis, the departure may be legally justified — and blaming the person who left can even lead to unexpected financial consequences.
VGS Family Lawyers is a law firm that offers assistance to English-speaking clients with interests in Italy. In case you need assistance, please write to: info@vgslawyers.com